Sunday, November 29, 2009


I'm on holiday last 4 days and i feel a bit cool now. :) I have to really focus on what im doing and lucky me i didnt feel the headache anymore. Yeay! Maybe i need some rest. Thats all.

I really enjoy my 4 days holiday and i think i need more vacation soon. Before im leaving to Aussie to further my study and I'll be alone there. Damn. No one will accompany me there. And i feel sad and home sick i guess. But its just for a while. Yes pls. Pls make it fast for me. :(

I need sometime for myself now. Thank you.


Oh its so painful. My stomach. I hate it. Ive to diet. Yes! Have to. Ive put on weight like 50+???? OMG! This is too much.. maintain zaza. maintain. Ill be quiet for a while. Need some space and time. Its very painful knowing that i already put on my weight sooo much! Keep silence and have my own time to think and be strong.. To make any decision on how to keep my body fit like before. Need to focus and everytg will be just fine.

Ive to try harder and push myself. Dont cry soo much or tense coz its just a part of life and ive to bear with it too. MAINTAIN. yes. thats the right word. MAINTAIN. :)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

If I Am

So you're standing on a ledge,
It looks like you might fall
So far down, or maybe you were thinking about jumping
And you could have it all,
If you learned a little patience... See More... See More
For though I cannot fly,
I'm not content to crawl
To give me a little credit,
Have in me a little faith
I wanna be with you forever,
If tomorrow's not too late
But it's always too late when you've got nothing,
So you say
And you should never let the sun set on tomorrow,
Before the sun rises today

If I am,
Another waste of everything you've dreamed of, I will let you down
If I am,
Only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down

So you're walking on the edge,
And you wait your turn to fall
But you're so far gone, that you don't see the hands up held to catch you
And you could find the fault,
In the heart that you've been handed
But though you cannot fly,
You're not content to crawl
And it's always too late when you've got nothing,
So you say
But you should never let the sunset on tomorrow,
Before the sun rises

If I am,
Another waste of everything you hope for, I will let you down
If I am,
Only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down...

So you're standing on a ledge,
It looks like you might fall...

If I am,
Another waste of everything you've dreamed of, I will let you down
If I am,
Only here to watch you as you suffer, I will let you down

The answers we find are never what we had in mind,
So we make it up as we go along
You don't talk of dreams, I won't mention tomorrow
We won't make those promises that we can't keep

I will never leave you
I will not let you down
I will never leave you
I will not let you down...

Monday, November 23, 2009


I'll never allow someone to be my priority while they allowing myself to be their option. Ok now i have to take the resposibility. Alone? Yes, its fine with me. You'll never know whats the meaning of all this and you'll never think further but just to make yourself out rather then stuck into this situation. Its ok coz I dont need you to tell me what to do or not to do. Coz ill do it by myself. Plus you wont do anytg, though. Obviously you won't be punish by ppl around you coz they wont know if u didnt revill it. So for what i want to keep relying on you like you can do anytg for me? You'll never be there whenever i want you to be around. BUT you'll be there when your 'friend' need you to comfort them.hahahhaha.. nevermind. Its my LUCK. :) I wont blame anyone. I'll just follow what my head is telling me but ill NEVER EVER follow my heart coz its will lie. i've prove! ;)

But whatever it is i know and i believe God is always with me. I know I've made soooo many mistake before but im sure God always forgive... Oh God! To you i give my soul and everytg. Pls make things easy for me and i'll promise i'll follow ur way now and forever. Pls God coz i know you still love me and care about me..

p/s: enjoy partying ok. haha.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

You make me S.M.I.L.E

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking the sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that

Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Oh God!

Oh I feel sick..
Very sick..
Headache and not feeling very well this past few days...
Oh God..
Pls Help me..

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Hey stalker!
Plsssss Get Losttt!!
I told you i dont want you..
I've been honest sooo far that im in love with someone..
Still in love for God sake!
Just go.. I need space.. plss..
Im sorry if you think ive treat you well before..
But it just not more than friend who need each other and at the same time supporting each other seems both of us gone through sooo much difficulty in life..
Im bagging you.. Plss..
I need him.. I want him..
Just him..
And not you..
We just can be friend...
Not more than that..
Im sorry..
Pls go..

Sunday, November 15, 2009

I Just Dont Know...

Why? Why?Why?Why?
I keep asking myself why?
and till now i cannot get the answer...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

You! Please Get Lost!

Ohooooo! hahhahhaah.. Best!Best! Best!Best! Ko mmg terbaek! Damnnnnn you!!! Benccciiiiiii!!!!Blah!Blah! Blah! Blah!Blah!Blah!Blah!Blah!Blah! No turning back. Damn! I hate myself either coz still have a trust in you! Bullshit! Everytgs bullshittt! hahahahahahahha... Ko mmg tak berenti2 menyakitkan hati aku kan? and aku mmg tersangat lah bodoh coz percaya everytg pe yg aku nmpak n tahu. Kononnya ko tersangatlah frust and watever. hahahha.. Good for you.. oklah babai.

Sekian terima kasih. :D

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Choosing Life Partner :)

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner:

Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years,
that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together?You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.Two things can happen in a marriage:

(1) You can grow together, or
(2) you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart.
To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!

Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with
this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means
you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one.Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test?
Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?Are they serious about improving themselves?A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right " so ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give.
By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they donot have to be nice to such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person
after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to
"improve"; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse". If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective...

There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.


7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal,
abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and PAIN will replace them...

Monday, November 9, 2009


Love does not consist of gazing at each other...
but in looking together in the same direction....
Im hoping that God is listening to my prayers...
If I wait to do everything until i'm sure it's right
I'll probably never do much of anything....
Oh dear GOD!
Pls help me

Sunday, November 8, 2009


Im so sorry........
Enough said...
Forgive me if u can..
Be gud..
I'll always be there..
No matter what...
I'll be there...

Monday, November 2, 2009

I've Spoil Everytg...

Past few days I feel very happy coz I know you always there for me. But today is different. I feel hard and sad. Plus I feel that ppl want to judge me by looking at my past. I dunt know y but i felt terrible. Im not in a good mood and feel depressed. When things goes well y must there be sumtg who spoil everytg? Im so sad...

How am I gonna faced them? How I'm gonna talked to them like notg happened when all of us know theres sometg not right is going on around?I know im not as good as others but ive try hard to change myself and be a better person. I've learn from my mistake. All I need is your support, dont criticize me coz Im not that bad.. No one's perfect and so am I.. Pls accept me the way I am and help me to changed.

I know one day I'll be good.. But for now I just dont know wat shud i do.. I dunt want to giving everytgs up coz i've done so many things to make it happened.Pls trust me. Ill be just fine.. Sooner or later..

Thank you... :)